Friday, 22 March 2013


This goes to someone that was once the most important person in my life, I didn’t realize it at the time.

I can’t forgive myself for the way I treated you so I don’t really expect you to either, It’s just….. I don’t even know… I just want to write this note.

You’re the one that I want, the one that I need, the one that I gotta have just to succeed...

When I first saw you, I knew it was real.. I’m sorry about the pain I made you feel...

That wasn’t me, let me show you the way I looked for the sun, but it’s raining today.. sorry.

I remember when I first looked into your eyes it was like an angel was there...

I wore a disguise cause I didn’t wanna get hurt, but didn’t know I made everything worse

You told me we were crazy in love but you didn’t care when push came to shove...

If you loved me as much as you said you did, then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit !!

Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me. I loved you with my heart, really and truly..

I guess you forgot about the times that we shared, when I would run my fingers through your hair....

Late nights, just holding you in my arms I don’t know how I could do you so wrong....

I really wanna show you I real need to hold you, I really wanna know you like no one else could know you...

You’re number one, always in my mind and now I can’t believe that our love is torn apart... it's just....

I need you and I miss you and I want you and I love you, cause I wanna hold you, I wanna hug you, you

were my everything and I really miss you...

I knew you gonna sit and play this with you new man and then sit and laugh as you’re holding his hand...

The thought of that just shatters my heart, it breaks in my soul and it tears me apart....

At times we was off I was scared to show you, now I wanna hold you until I can’t hold you...

Without you, everything seems strange, your name is forever planted in my brain...

Damn it, I’m insane ! take away the pain ! take away the hurt !

Baby, we can make it work what about when you looked into my eyes.

Told me you loved me as you would hug me....

I guess everything you said was a lie, I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes. Now I’m not even a thought

in your mind. I can see clearly, my love is not blind....

I just wish everything could have turned out differently. I had a special feeling about you.. I thought maybe

you did too… you would understand, but no matter what, you used in my heart… you used be my baby…

Our first day, it seemed so beautiful… I remember all the time that I had with you.. did you ?

Remember when you first came to my house? You looked like an angel wearing that blouse.

We hit it off, I knew it was real but now I can’t tak all the pain that I feel. Reach in your heart, I know I’m

still there I don’t wanna hear that you no longer care.

Remember the times?

Remember when we hug each other?

I didn’t think you would ever do me like this.

I didn’t think you’d wanna see me depressed, I thought you’d be there for me, this I really confess.

You said you were my best friend, was that a lie?

Now I’m nothing to you, and you’re with another guy.

I tried, I tried, I tried, and I’m trying… now on the inside It feels like I’m dying.

I do miss you, I just thought we were meant to be.

I guess now, we’ll never know… the only thing I want is for you to be happy…

Whether it be with me, or without me.

I just want you to be happy.
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Thursday, 14 March 2013

Campur Aduk!

4 hari terakhir ini gw bingung sama perasaan gw sendiri... .rasanya campur aduk gak karuan!
Bingung.. banyak rasa yang saya rasain... Seneng, sedih, gelisah, bersemangat, lesu, frustasi!
banyak banget...

Efeknya menjalar kemana-mana... Kerjaan kantor gak beres, kadang compang camping, ada yang kelewat lah, ini lah itu lah.. lupa lah.. dll.
Temen2 sms gak  gw ladenin, sampe ada yang marah lah, itu lah... gw nya juga bingung mau jelasinnya gimana ke mereka2 yang pada marah2.

Gw sendiri juga gak tau ini gw sendiri lagi kenapa, aneh, ga bisa di jelasin.... Kayaknya numpuk banget masalah yang ada di otak... mulai dari masalah duit lah, ini lah, itu lah.. .dan yang lain-lain yang masih banyak lagi, dan gak mungkin juga gw sebutin satu-satu masalah gw yang udah numpuk segudang.

Bingung mau cerita ke siapa... cuma bisa cerita sama gunung... cuma bisa cerita di jembatan itu..
Cuma pemandangan itu yang bisa bikin fresh, seger, walaupun cuma sebentar sih... setelah beranjak pergi sekitar 20 - 30 langkah dari situ.. pasti bingung lagi..

Let it flow sajalah...

Masalah itu pasti selalu ada.. but life must go on!
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Wednesday, 13 March 2013


Seiring berjalannya waktu, ketika sudah tak ada lagi sesosok wanita yang mendampingi diriku, Aku merasa semua nya baik-baik saja. Aku merasa sudah tidak punya masalah lagi, aku merasa bebas, aku puas.

Tapi aku bingung, sering sekali hati ini merindukan seseorang yang akupun entah, tidak tahu siapa orang itu. Aku hanya merasa rindu setengah mati.
Aku bingung... Hati ini sebetulnya rindu kepada siapa?

Tapi bisa aku pastikan, hatiku sekarang sedang kosong, dan aku ingin tetap kosong sampai semua yang kuinginkan tercapai. Ku harap aku bisa. Semoga
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